By Jove, I think I’ve got it.

Don’t you just love having the same conversation over and over? Yes? Good, read on.

A little bit ago we were again discussing how things work around the dishevelled domicile, in terms of who is in charge.  Somehow the topic came up in chat a day or two ago with a pal and in that conversation I finally landed on what I think is a reasonably good analogy.

My man is the head of state but it is a puppet government. I’m delighted to leave him all the policy issues, diplomatic responsibilities, and parliamentary procedures as well as the effort that goes into maintaining a government. Rather him than me!

His decisions can fall anywhere within my fairly permissive (nearly Sinatra Doctrine) policies— and there is pax domina.

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22 responses to “By Jove, I think I’ve got it.

  • Tom Allen

    Research has shown that the couples reporting the most satisfaction with their relationships are those in which the husband will defer to his wife’s “last word” if she chooses to have one.

    That is, in those matters in which she has no opinion, the husband simply does whatever is necessary. In the rest of the circumstances, if he defers to or accommodates her opinion, then the overall satisfaction level is higher for the both of them.

    • DD

      I believe that statistic is true,
      because it confirms what I choose to believe.

      • Tom Allen

        I see what you did there.

        I really should look that one up, though. It’s a few years old, and there were some complaints that it seemed to reinforce the old “Yes, dear” mindset, but hell, sometimes a stereotype can be true.

      • DD

        I should have known you’d catch that my tongue was in my cheek a bit there.

        You are right though, stereotypes can sometimes be true. It makes sense that being willing to listen to your partner on matters of importance to her would be a pattern found in healthy relationships.

  • Peroxide

    My favorite part of this is still the use of the the word puppet, and the image it evokes.

  • Ayesha

    Hera will be very proud of u.

    • DD

      Excellent, but I’ve always preferred Hecate and Odyne.

      • Ayesha

        Bad move! Remember what she did when Paris ignored her? And how she turned Hecate into a cat?

        Odyne? I tried, but i can’t picture u to deliver pain on her scale. U r way too delicate and sensitive for that. Maybe it’s just ur fantasy? Or……perhaps u had to suffer a lot urself and felt hurt beyond belief? If so, do u have many scars?

        • DD

          Now see, mythology can be so convoluted. In the mythology I know, Galinthias was turned to a cat by Hera and Hecate took pity on her. In any case, my preference for Hecate might be related in part to her Roman name, Trivia, but also, she is the titan goddess of the sky, the sea, and the earth. The Olympian nonsense was nothing to Hecate, an approach I appreciate. Hera, to my mind, was far too petty and insecure. Zeus, her husband/brother, and his wandering eye occupied far too much of her attention. Every story tells of her reacting rather than acting. Yes, I prefer Hecate.

          I rather love the fact that you’ve described me as delicate and sensitive. That is awesome.
          Scars? Oh yes, physical and emotional, I’ve some of each. However, while I enjoy worshiping Odyne with my willing fucktoy, I do not scar him. Pain is a means to an end in our rituals, and that means intensity and duration are less important to me than desired effect. I don’t need to be the personification of pain, Odyne can handle that. We will just worship in our way.

      • Ayesha

        Convoluted indeed. Mythology is like religion. All sprouted from the fantasies of men. Better to stay far from both in r/l.

        So no branding in ur place? :(

      • DD

        The only smell of burning flesh will be from the dinner, thanks.

  • unvaguedoute

    I like your lovely family portrait…just I would add a little remark.
    In the relation between a couple of lovers you can try to put rules, you can create your personal kingdom…the problem is when the children arrive.
    A family is not a land that you can occupy, it’s not a close space…It was…now I hope this time it is over.
    I like to think family is more a sort of white paper where lines are drawn…some line are strong then others, some are more clear, some are more colored…
    In any case I’m sure your familiy is a very nice painting.

    • DD

      It is true that adding children makes for a very different dynamic.
      I’ve teenagers and must say, I am looking forward to the day when our home is once again our personal kingdom.

      • sandro

        Mines are teenagers too…dirty beatiful lines running and shouting in the appartment…but I am not american, I live in the old europe and I am a sentimental chap …and I am afraid of the moment they will live home.
        I love mythologie, and I appreciate people who use it to evocate their sensations/sentiment/emotions…but I was born in a island in rhe mediterrean sea

  • Michelle

    Once I heard a man say that in his marriage he made all of the important decisions and his wife made all of the unimportant ones. He decided things like: how to solve world hunger, find peace in the middle east, cure cancer, etc. She decided the unimportant things like: which house they should buy, how much money should be spent on food, what they would do that weekend. And so forth…

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